I recently saw an interview with the parents of Linda Norgrove, a British aid worker killed in Afghanistan. Her mother said:
"It wasn't our daughter that the Taliban were looking for that day—it was actually her boss. Linda was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think, you've got to forgive. It wouldn't have done us any good to blame and to go down that route. It was much better for us to do something she would have approved of and which would help people in Afghanistan."
The Norgroves went on to establish a foundation to support women and children in Afghanistan.
Whether the Norgroves know Jesus or not, they are living in the freedom of forgiveness.
"It wouldn't have done us any good to blame and to go down that route."
"Be careful that none of you fails to respond to the grace which God gives, for if he does, there can very easily spring up in him a bitter spirit which is not only bad in itself but can also poison the lives of many others." Hebrews 12:15 (J.B. Phillips)
"You've got to forgive."
Forgiveness sets me free.
"Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]." Colossians 3:13 (Amplified Bible)
Clinging to unforgiveness not only hinders my relationship with God and others—it keeps me connected to pain and hurt.
Not forgiving hurts me, my soul, and my relationships.
The real question should be: How can I NOT forgive those who hurt me?
Here are a few things I've learned and experienced about forgiveness:
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Don't wait until I feel like forgiving — I may never get there.
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To the extent I don't forgive another person, they 'own' me.
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Name the offense—be it a slight grievance or a horrible wrongdoing. Naming it allows me to deal with the issue specifically.
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Name and process my emotions. God already knows them, so I'm free to say them.
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Feelings take time to heal, even after I have made the choice to forgive.
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Don't rationalize or explain the other person's behavior—because forgiveness deals with my pain.
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Forgiveness is not forgetting; it means I choose not to use the past against the other.
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Remember God will deal with the other person fairly. He is the righteous judge who holds each of us to account.
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Forgiveness is a process, not a one-time event. There can be layers to deep hurts which God, in His gentleness, reveals over time.
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Talk with a professional counselor if necessary.
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Remember Jesus died to forgive my sin.
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Extending forgiveness is one of the ways the love of Christ flows through me.
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Forgiveness sets me free.
If you'd like to talk with someone about forgiveness—receiving it from Jesus or extending it to others—please email , and a pastor will contact you.
