In college and high school, I had a way of trying to help my friends in their faith walks that was blunt, rude, unwanted, and, frankly, misguided. I was raised by a pastor and spent more time studying scripture than many of my friends. As such, I felt that I had an obligation to correct them when they were wrong – either in their actions or in their interpretation of scripture. I was a big fan of the idea of “speaking the truth,” but I wasn’t so keen on “speaking the truth in love,” a term we read in Ephesians 4:17. The real truth was, I was young and opinionated. Now, I’m older and still opinionated, but I’ve also grown in my compassion for others. This glaring flaw only changed when I sought God to change me.
What does growing spiritually mean? Growing spiritually is simply the act of becoming more like Jesus. The technical term for this is sanctification, and it’s that muddy middle of your walk with Christ. After you’ve accepted him but before you’re made perfect in Heaven, there’s the journey toward Christlikeness. It’s not a small journey either. It’ll take the rest of your life, regardless of when you became a Christian.
In my life, people have only responded well to my guidance when it was given as truth spoken in love.
So then, how do we do it? There are some straightforward answers (I call these Sunday School answers). Read your Bible daily, pray, attend church, and participate in a life group. These will suffice for a time. But as you mature in Christ, you’ll need to dig deeper. Don’t just read your Bible – study it. Find trusted sources to help you better understand it. Don’t ignore differing opinions. Study them. Weigh them against the Word. Scrutinize your own opinions. Don’t just pray. Seek God. Spend quiet time with Him. Listen to Him. Ask Him His will in your life. Submit. Don’t just attend church and life group. Volunteer. Find ways to actively show the love of Christ to those around you. Find an accountability partner. Confess and repent.
You can pause here and take a deep breath.
Looking at the list above, is there anything you can do to force someone to follow these steps? No. And unless someone is seeking this sort of advice, it will likely fall on deaf ears (or possibly angry ones). Does that mean everyone should only focus on their personal journey? I don’t think anyone would argue that discipleship is a large part of our calling as Christians. But it’s not enough to play the “do as I say, not as I do” game. You can try to lead others that way, but it will inevitably fail. As it happens, people generally don’t love hypocrisy.
In my life, people have only responded well to my guidance when it was given as truth spoken in love. And that love comes at a cost. It costs time. It costs energy, both physically and emotionally. It costs pride, envy, and greed.
There is a sacrifice in leading people, because if you truly want to help someone, it requires both personal growth and a relationship with God, as well as the person you are trying to guide. Personal growth and self-sacrifice are not easy. Yet, they’re both part of the calling.
