When I was in college, one of my best friends took his own life. It was one of the most shocking and painful events of my entire life. He wasn’t old, he wasn’t physically ill, he’d just struggled with demons he never revealed. At his funeral, I could see the pain and questions on everyone’s faces. “Why did this happen? Why did God allow this to happen?”
Traumatic experiences like that can so often lead people to discard their faith. I understood why as I suffered through the hurt of losing someone. Isn’t God supposed to be good? Isn’t He supposed to have a perfect plan for everyone? Why would that include so much pain?
These questions were ever-present as I wrestled with God, but those weren’t the only questions. I reminded myself that I’d suffered before. I’d lived in poverty, missed out on opportunities I thought I should have, and had my heart broken. I’d experienced a whole spectrum of good and bad things. Furthermore, I’d known people who had experienced far worse things than I had. Many of those people who had gone through hard times had come out worse, but many had come out with an even stronger faith than before. The more I considered it, the more I realized that pain was just a part of life.
The hottest fires forge the toughest people when they rely on God to carry them through.
The way I saw it, I had two choices. I could walk away from God and blame every bad thing on Him, or I could lean into Him. I could trust in Him, even when I didn’t understand why such a tragic thing had occurred. I chose the latter, leaning into Him and His word. I read scripture, and in it, I saw the suffering of man explained back in Genesis. It’s part of the fall, a result of mankind’s rebellion from our creator. But more than that, I saw that the brokenness and pain of man was the very thing God was in the process of fixing through Jesus’ death on the cross. Death is the result of sin, and God has paid for it.
Realizing this, I leaned in. I surrendered to Him and His will. I asked Him to heal my pain, but also to use it to grow me.
And now I’m perfect.
All hail me.
Seriously though, I’m still a work in progress. My faith isn’t perfect. I still face challenges whenever a new hardship arises, and sometimes it takes a while to relearn that same lesson I learned over a decade ago.
One thing I’ve found helps me is watching those who have just come out of hardships. Seeing how they not only held onto their faith through tough trials, but also how they deepened their relationship with God in the process. It helps me bear in mind that the hottest fires forge the toughest people when they rely on God to carry them through.
So how do we do that consistently?
I don’t have a perfect answer, but I would encourage you to remember what God says about trials in the Bible (Proverbs 3:5-6, James 1:12, 1 Peter 4:12-13). Remember what He promises us (Lamentations 3:32, Matthew 11:28-30). Remember who He says He is (Isaiah 40:28-29, Isaiah 41:10, Nahum 1:7). Most of all, talk to Him. Ask Him for strength. Ask Him for comfort. Ask Him for understanding. He’s a good God, and He will listen and provide for our needs, even in tough trials.
